The Darkest Days
A preoccupation with the future not only prevents us from seeing the present as it is but often prompts us to rearrange the past.
Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind, 1954(1902 - 1983)
And so faith is closing your eyes and following the breath of your soul down to the bottom of life, where existence and nonexistence have merged into irrelevance. All that matters is the little part you play in the vast drama.
Real Live Preacher, reallivepreacher.com weblog, September 4, 2003
It has often been my fear that fate conspires against us, that somewhere in the grand scheme of things, god has determined that we must be tried over and over in order test the limits of our faith, and now I fear that I have hit the wall. Before the trials and tribulations of college life have overwhelmed me, and I have stared them in the face and won my battles, but now I fear that my work may have been in vain, that everything I have built for myself is merely sand slipping through my fingers into oblivion. It all started going downhill when Jim Norr my sociology professor had a stroke and was unable to continue teaching his class, now my TA as hard as she might try, is becoming overwhelmed with teaching a class she is still learning herself. My english class is forcing me to write about art in a way that is completely over my head, and outside my scope of intrests, and my geography class that the damn university says I have to take for "cultural diversity" is taught by a liberal douche bag that thinks the poor terrorists are another nations freedom fighters, how purely misguided he is.
These forces working together are tearing my mind apart, coupled with the stress of working two jobs and my older sisters impending wedding next month, because of all of this, I am tired, upset, and hostile, I'm snapping for no reason, and my migraines are returning more frequently, with more severity, I have to think of a way to ease my own suffering before I become consumed by madness, I cannot allow myself to be put on academic probabtion because of situations outside my control, and I'm not going to allow someone else to push me into a crippling nervous breakdown to suit thier needs, I need to find some way to pull my shit together and deal with this now before it fucks everything, I'm better than this and I know it, I just have to force myself to believe this, I'm afraid that I'm looking at my darkest days, and thiers no one with me to help save me this time, I know deep down that I'm strong enough to get by this, but I'm letting myself get distracted, need to pull it all together before the shit really hits the fan.
Eric Hoffer, The Passionate State of Mind, 1954(1902 - 1983)
And so faith is closing your eyes and following the breath of your soul down to the bottom of life, where existence and nonexistence have merged into irrelevance. All that matters is the little part you play in the vast drama.
Real Live Preacher, reallivepreacher.com weblog, September 4, 2003
It has often been my fear that fate conspires against us, that somewhere in the grand scheme of things, god has determined that we must be tried over and over in order test the limits of our faith, and now I fear that I have hit the wall. Before the trials and tribulations of college life have overwhelmed me, and I have stared them in the face and won my battles, but now I fear that my work may have been in vain, that everything I have built for myself is merely sand slipping through my fingers into oblivion. It all started going downhill when Jim Norr my sociology professor had a stroke and was unable to continue teaching his class, now my TA as hard as she might try, is becoming overwhelmed with teaching a class she is still learning herself. My english class is forcing me to write about art in a way that is completely over my head, and outside my scope of intrests, and my geography class that the damn university says I have to take for "cultural diversity" is taught by a liberal douche bag that thinks the poor terrorists are another nations freedom fighters, how purely misguided he is.
These forces working together are tearing my mind apart, coupled with the stress of working two jobs and my older sisters impending wedding next month, because of all of this, I am tired, upset, and hostile, I'm snapping for no reason, and my migraines are returning more frequently, with more severity, I have to think of a way to ease my own suffering before I become consumed by madness, I cannot allow myself to be put on academic probabtion because of situations outside my control, and I'm not going to allow someone else to push me into a crippling nervous breakdown to suit thier needs, I need to find some way to pull my shit together and deal with this now before it fucks everything, I'm better than this and I know it, I just have to force myself to believe this, I'm afraid that I'm looking at my darkest days, and thiers no one with me to help save me this time, I know deep down that I'm strong enough to get by this, but I'm letting myself get distracted, need to pull it all together before the shit really hits the fan.
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