We Are All Truly Less Than Zero...
Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.
John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963), speech prepared for delivery in Dallas the day of his assassination, November 22, 1963
The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from that, our motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 - 1902), 1890
In his novel "Less Than Zero" , Brett Ellis describes the excess and deficiency present in the privledged elite during the 1980's, but most importantly, it shows that while we are friends with people, not even friendship can makeup for poor descision making on the parts of those close to us. Julian became drug dependent and ultimately died from choices he made, and sadly, Clay his best friend in the world was powerless to stop him or help him, ultimately determining that in life, we are all less than zero, meaning that in the grand scale of things, we are all victims to our own passions, we are all victims to our vices, and in the end, nothing we do can save us from the descisions we have made. Theres nothing in this world that can save us from being what we are, and I understand that, it is the rest of the world that never understands.
I have often stated that I hate being the voice of reason, I hate being the only one with answers, I hate being the only one who escapes the destructive forces of poor descisions, and now finally, I have come to hate myself for everything I have done because of this. People other than myself make mistakes, people other than myself destroy thier lives, and people other than myself have in thier hearts and minds the flaws that make all of this possible, instead of trying to save them from themselves, like Clay did for Julian, I should have let them make thier descisions and live their lives, and walk away from them like I did so long ago.
I often recall the old short "Goofus And Gallant" in Highlights magazine, Where Goofus makes the poor choices and Gallant always makes the right ones, Gallant knew it was gonna rain, so he stayed inside and baked cookies with his mother, Goofus went under a tree and got struck by lightning. Gallant lived because he was smart, and Goofus died because he was a total fuck-tard and didnt listen to Gallant.
I'm tired of being Gallant, Im tired of trying to give advice and assistance to those who dont heed my warnings, I am wise far beyond my years, I am a scary judge of character, and when I make a judgement call about someone or something, I am never fucking wrong, and in the end I sit back and wonder why I even fucking bothered to waste my time in the first place.
I'm tired and as the days go on, I dont get any less tired, I have grown sick of giving people second chances, I have become angered with myself for being forgiving, and I have come to hate myself for being so kind to people who consistantly treat me like shit after I have gone way far out of my way to help them. This world, this life, is a pattern of chaos, I escape it because I choose to resist rather than serve, I agressively search and always find a way out of this chaos and its because I know what is right and what is wrong, and I know what is best for everyone, because I make descisions based on experience, logic, empathy, and observations, if people would just shut the fuck up and listen to me sometimes, they would all be better off, because I am where I am because I was born to lead, I was born to make descisions, and I was born to escape the failure and snags like those created inside lesser men.
I'm a man of faith, having found god again in my life, I understand that he puts us on this earth for a reason, and my reason is to be a great leader among men, to live a life of balance and make a difference in the lives of others, and right now people are making it hard for me to do this, I want nothing more than to fulfill his plan for me, but if it means that I must move on and lead others to a higher purpose, a more pure, simple living, then so be it, I am prepared to do whatever is nessecary to finish the job.
I dont want anymore lies, I dont want anymore bullshit, I want, expect and demand honesty, logic and self discipline. Thier are people elsewhere who want and deserve my help, and I will not deny them any further what they want, what they need because people waste my efforts. If you do not want to listen, if you choose to ignore my advice I will walk, and you all know from experience, when I walk, I never come back, it's over and done with, as with god in the bible I have two personas, the loving and helpful, and the angry and wrathful , and I will use both, thier is no grey area anymore, thier is a black and white, and a right and wrong, I am right and the general population of the world is wrong, and if you want to be happy, if you want to be pure, if you want to be above zero, it's going to be me to lead you thier, and if you don't thanks for playing, go get fucked, because the voice of reason breathes no more....
John F. Kennedy (1917 - 1963), speech prepared for delivery in Dallas the day of his assassination, November 22, 1963
The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from that, our motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.
Elizabeth Cady Stanton (1815 - 1902), 1890
In his novel "Less Than Zero" , Brett Ellis describes the excess and deficiency present in the privledged elite during the 1980's, but most importantly, it shows that while we are friends with people, not even friendship can makeup for poor descision making on the parts of those close to us. Julian became drug dependent and ultimately died from choices he made, and sadly, Clay his best friend in the world was powerless to stop him or help him, ultimately determining that in life, we are all less than zero, meaning that in the grand scale of things, we are all victims to our own passions, we are all victims to our vices, and in the end, nothing we do can save us from the descisions we have made. Theres nothing in this world that can save us from being what we are, and I understand that, it is the rest of the world that never understands.
I have often stated that I hate being the voice of reason, I hate being the only one with answers, I hate being the only one who escapes the destructive forces of poor descisions, and now finally, I have come to hate myself for everything I have done because of this. People other than myself make mistakes, people other than myself destroy thier lives, and people other than myself have in thier hearts and minds the flaws that make all of this possible, instead of trying to save them from themselves, like Clay did for Julian, I should have let them make thier descisions and live their lives, and walk away from them like I did so long ago.
I often recall the old short "Goofus And Gallant" in Highlights magazine, Where Goofus makes the poor choices and Gallant always makes the right ones, Gallant knew it was gonna rain, so he stayed inside and baked cookies with his mother, Goofus went under a tree and got struck by lightning. Gallant lived because he was smart, and Goofus died because he was a total fuck-tard and didnt listen to Gallant.
I'm tired of being Gallant, Im tired of trying to give advice and assistance to those who dont heed my warnings, I am wise far beyond my years, I am a scary judge of character, and when I make a judgement call about someone or something, I am never fucking wrong, and in the end I sit back and wonder why I even fucking bothered to waste my time in the first place.
I'm tired and as the days go on, I dont get any less tired, I have grown sick of giving people second chances, I have become angered with myself for being forgiving, and I have come to hate myself for being so kind to people who consistantly treat me like shit after I have gone way far out of my way to help them. This world, this life, is a pattern of chaos, I escape it because I choose to resist rather than serve, I agressively search and always find a way out of this chaos and its because I know what is right and what is wrong, and I know what is best for everyone, because I make descisions based on experience, logic, empathy, and observations, if people would just shut the fuck up and listen to me sometimes, they would all be better off, because I am where I am because I was born to lead, I was born to make descisions, and I was born to escape the failure and snags like those created inside lesser men.
I'm a man of faith, having found god again in my life, I understand that he puts us on this earth for a reason, and my reason is to be a great leader among men, to live a life of balance and make a difference in the lives of others, and right now people are making it hard for me to do this, I want nothing more than to fulfill his plan for me, but if it means that I must move on and lead others to a higher purpose, a more pure, simple living, then so be it, I am prepared to do whatever is nessecary to finish the job.
I dont want anymore lies, I dont want anymore bullshit, I want, expect and demand honesty, logic and self discipline. Thier are people elsewhere who want and deserve my help, and I will not deny them any further what they want, what they need because people waste my efforts. If you do not want to listen, if you choose to ignore my advice I will walk, and you all know from experience, when I walk, I never come back, it's over and done with, as with god in the bible I have two personas, the loving and helpful, and the angry and wrathful , and I will use both, thier is no grey area anymore, thier is a black and white, and a right and wrong, I am right and the general population of the world is wrong, and if you want to be happy, if you want to be pure, if you want to be above zero, it's going to be me to lead you thier, and if you don't thanks for playing, go get fucked, because the voice of reason breathes no more....
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